I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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