i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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