i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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