Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
