im drinking this country out of the recession.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize