The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
