Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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