I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
