We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
