Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
