I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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