The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
