My balls are so social today.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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