my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
