Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
