i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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