New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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