watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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