Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
