i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm at about main and main street
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
