Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
