i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
