OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
