In the future we'll all be gay
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
