I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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