Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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