I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
