Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
