Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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