K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
