i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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