That's intense
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
