I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
