So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
