she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
