I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
