The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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