There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
