my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
