Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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