I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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