I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
