Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
