we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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