Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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