We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize