In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
