Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
