becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
