if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
