Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
