when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
