I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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