Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
