it wasn't lemon gatorade
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
