butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
