WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
