went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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