i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
