My hand turned me down
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its not stalking. its research.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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