he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Can I color on your dick again?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
