She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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