i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
