You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
