He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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