I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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