did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize